The Nest

TAP and the Pre-Q

We come to work in this special arena, Aristotle’s cathartic healing place, the scene of a drama that repeats itself. We leave, exhausted yet exhilarated for we know that we have been allowed to be part of something sacred. Feeling this, we return, and engage again and again in this dance with eternity, within time yet not, as each day follows another.

TAP- an acronym of the angelic premie

TAP- the sense of the presence of the premie in the womb

TAP - J’arrive (I’m Here) the perspective of the premie

TAP and the Pre-Q- an introduction to the NICU for the extreme premie

The Angelic Premie

TAP - Click to open to learn more
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The Nest

Just a little angel
Caught in a spider’s web
Energy pulsing round it
Humming in its head.

Soothing it like music
Sung to a babe on high
In a cradle gently pulled
by silver threads of sky.

So it is that the babe, the tiny creature that is the product of a twenty-three to twenty-four week gestation, offers the gift of a shift in perspective. It raises irrational issues that Reason cannot handle and silences the chattering Mind, so that the Soul can be heard. The babe takes the hand of the Mind and leads it down a rabbit hole from which it can emerge, if it gives itself permission, with a new understanding of the healing movement that is the relationship between Life and Death.

Fate: The Second Edition

A book of poetry and image
Available at Amazon

This collection of short stories, fictional non-fiction stories in which the truth is embedded, takes the reader on a journey through the early days of the lives of extremely premature infants and their families and caretakers. These are stories that are replete with examples of devotion, dedication, and love. I hope that I have succeeded in conveying the degree to which we were all moved and our lives deepened by having known these little ones, having been given the gift of being a part of their destinies. The lives, and thus the stories of all the babies that have passed through the Pre-Q, are embedded in this book, and to read it is to enter into their private space. The babe, when it is born too early, requires a second womb.
It is in need of a warm, moist lacuna within which to complete its gestation. It is our challenge to keep our mind’s eye open, remaining receptive to the hints that will help guide us to interfere only when necessary in the life of the tiny ones and to get out of the way of Nature whenever it is possible to do so.
Excerpts:The tiniest one has an inner glow that illuminates the lives of those around it. This impossibly ancient little thing, carrying the codes of humanity within its being, is seen by us in a condition that we were never meant to witness. Only the angels were meant to know the baby in this form, and so with its arrival, we fall out of time and transform, having experienced a soul that fleshed itself so early. Babies like to come that way, fast and in the middle of the night, at least it seems the little ones do. It must have something to do with the silver light and the angels, who on wing, escort them into time. So it was that I found myself driving in at four in the morning, splitting the darkness as I spirited myself towards the hospital faster than could be humanly possible, or so I wished. There was never enough time, perhaps too little
energy directed toward the tiniest babies and not enough science yet for the task that was needed to escort these little ones safely into time.

NICU & I

Available on Amazon

This series consists of three books: one of poetry, A Fate Unwound Too Soon, and two of short stories and chapters, The NICU & I and The NICU & Us, that tell the story through image, poetry and fictional non-fiction of the world of the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit.

Except:

The lives, and thus the stories of all the babies that have passed through the Pre-Q, are embedded in these books, and to read them is to enter into their private space. Each time a story is read, and for each reader of that story, the tale is a different experience. Just as with the birth of a tiny one, each event is a unique one. Seemingly similar, it is a mistake to treat the stories as though they are interchangeable. The babes, free of distinctive garments, appear generic, which tempts us to approach them in a way that downgrades their care to treatment.

That tiny spirit
Needed no wing
To fly deep into the heart of me.

The mother of the twins/triplets would turn away from her memories to survive and toward the distraction provided by an existence filled with thought, not emptied of feeling but more like a consciousness nestled in a sanctuary. The business and noise of her daily life served as a buffer by utilizing known things, safe things, to protect her consciousness from the threat of the vastness of the unknown with which she was faced.

The NICU & Us

Available on Amazon

The cord of life both frees and binds
As flesh, it serves to sustain a life
As tether, it atrophies to naught
Leaving one to the world of strife.

It is no fulcrum around which to spin
Out of the world and out of place
Merely a leash that leads one from
The vast nebula into time and space.

Excerpt:

     “Babies like to come that way, fast and in the middle of the night, at least the little ones seem to. It must have something to do with the silver light, and the angels, who on wing, escort them into time. So it was that I found myself driving in at 4 in the morning, splitting the darkness as I spirited myself into the hospital faster than could be humanly possible, or so I wished.”

     "The Story Begins…," is the first installment in a series of short stories that is the book, Living in the Doctor's Nest, a compilation of stories about the life of a doctor who cares for extremely premature infants. As the stories unfold, we learn about the challenges that she faced as she began to practice in her field and how she ultimately fulfilled her goal of developing specialized units for the extremely premature newborn. Along the way, we get to know more about her family, lovers, and friends. We meet the nurses and respiratory therapists that provided the care, and we learn about the "scorpions," the obstacles that lay in wait to derail the process along the way. "The Story Begins…," is the first installment of a year's worth of stories about this doctor's nest.

The Doctor’s Nest:
The Story Begins...
Short Story #1

Available on Amazon

The babe is the ineffable become personal
The unknown, once rooted in the womb
Now cut free from its tether
Free to find its place in my world.

Excerpt:

     "The baby from last week was now a little "Borg," something like the character from Star Trek, no longer connected to the flesh of its mother by a pulsing cord but to the world through the humming wires of impersonal energy. It was doing well in the NICU, being small but not too early for that realm."

     "The Story Continues…," is the second installment in a series of short stories that is the book, The Doctor's Nest, a compilation of stories about the life of a doctor who cares for extremely premature infants. As the stories unfold, we learn about the challenges that she faced as she began to practice in her field and how she ultimately fulfilled her goal of developing specialized units for the extremely premature newborn. Along the way, we get to know more about her family, lovers, and friends. We meet the nurses and respiratory therapists that provided the care, and we learn about the "scorpions," the obstacles that lay in wait to derail the process along the way. "The Story Continues…," is the second installment of a year's worth of stories about this doctor's nest.

The Doctor’s Nest:
The Story Continues...
Short Story #2

Available on Amazon

The little creature in the womb
Is like the pearl deep
A secret that is best kept in
To grow while still asleep.

Excerpt:

     “Ready?" the obstetrician asked as he turned his head towards me, his body still facing the mother. He was looking directly at me at that point, so I just nodded, and with his arm in position, he entered the mother and pierced the membranes to expedite the delivery.”

Summary:

     “The Pearl” is the fourth short story from the book, Living in the Doctor’s Nest, a compilation of stories about the life of a doctor who cares for extremely premature infants. As the stories unfold, we learn about the challenges that she faced as she began to practice in her field and how she ultimately fulfilled her goal of developing specialized units for the extremely premature newborn. Along the way, we get to know more about her family and friends. We meet the nurses and respiratory therapists that provided the care, and we learn about the "scorpions," the obstacles that lay in wait to derail the process along the way. The book will be expanded over this year to a full-length work with a year's worth of stories about this doctor's nest.

The Doctor’s Nest:
The Pearl
Short Story #4

Available on Amazon